Written with a Floating Pen
by Bar-Ohki
Summary: A series of drabbles written in the world of Fullflame. Drabble five: in which Winry makes an acute observation....
1. I stuck it there, dad

**Written with a Floating Pen**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer (this is the only time I'm going to feature this as I hate re-writing a statement that we all know to be true): I don't own FMA. I don't own Loveless. I do own my ideas and Fullflame.

Rating: M due to the sexual references, cursing, violence, and the fact that Fullflame is also M rated.

Summary: A series of drabbles and anecdotes from the world of Fullflame.

Other Stuff: I would have had started to post these earlier but the title was too perfect and I couldn't spoil that part of the story until we got there. I'm not really holding to the 100 word length of a typical drabble, but these will probably be under a page in length (including intro stuff). I'm using my 'other stuff' to explain where I get the inspiration for some of these passages, or when they occur during the story. Reading Fullflame will help you understand these, but you don't need to read this to understand Fullflame. This first drabble is the story of the floating pen in Edward's room.

I stuck it there, Dad

Trisha Elric was out.

Now Trisha Elric never went out by herself, since her husband or son was always in tow. Today she had brought her youngest child, the four month old Alphonse, with her. They were going to a baby shower. Hohenheim Elric, her husband and Fighter Unit was staying at home to watch over their elder son, the three year old Edward Elric.

Neither Hohenheim nor Edward could talk easily, so the house was extremely quiet. Besides the occasional sniffle or sneeze from Hohenheim, who currently had the cold Edward had just finished getting over. The two were sitting in Edward's bedroom with a box of tissues, and they were playing 'go fish' at the present time.

Hohenheim held up the five of hearts. Edward looked at his hand, and then shook his head. Hohenheim returned the five to his hand and drew a card from the pile. He shook his head and looked at Edward expectantly. Edward held up the queen of spades. Hohenheim handed him the queen of hearts. Such was how two mute people played the game.

After the third game it was pretty obvious that both were bored. Hohenheim set down the cards he had just finished shuffling and flashed Edward a mischievous smile. Putting a finger to his lips in the unmistakable 'shushing' gesture, Hohenheim walked over to Ed's desk. He picked up a few pens and pencils and sat back down on the bed.

Edward cocked his head to the side, curious.

"Trisha." Hohenheim said while shaking his head, then made the shush gesture again. What this meant was 'don't tell your mother'. Carefully Hohenheim held a pencil point up out at arm's length. Then carefully he pulled his arm down and then jerked it up, sending the pencil speeding into the air. Edward watched as the pencil flew up and embedded itself into the ceiling. A small smile, full of childish joy, spread across Ed's face. A few seconds later the pencil fell from the ceiling and Hohenheim caught it.

With a gentile grin, Hohenheim handed his son a pen. Edward tried to stick it in the ceiling. Unfortunately the boy could only get the pen about six inches below the ceiling. He glared at it and this time when the pen went into the air Edward decided to yell at it.

"Now stay up there!" Edward growled. The pen stayed suspended in mid-air. Immediately Edward and Hohenheim paled, and exchanged horrified looks.

Trisha was not going to be pleased when she came home.

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Now we know how that blasted pen got up there!


	2. Which Color?

**Written with a Floating Pen**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Other Stuff: I got this review forFullflame, here's a quote (I fixed the minor grammar mistakes):

"_A white room? I guess its better than a blood-red room. What would be harder to sleep in? A white room or a blood-red room?" -EdElricRules (Or Chibi-Sheska)_

And here's the result….

Which color?

Dante and Ilandere were standing in a cement room that was devoid of anything save the light fixture and switch by the door. Dante looked thoughtful.

"What color should we paint it?" Dante asked her friend.

"I'm thinking blood red." Ilandere nodded, content with her choice.

"Isn't that a little cliché?" Dante asked. "I'm not trying to make the boy insane."

"Still thinking blood red."

"You're_so_ helpful." Dante rolled her eyes.

"What are you two doing in here?" A male voice inquired from the hall.

"We're trying to figure out what color to paint this room." Dante explained.

"I'm voting for blood red!" Ilandere supplied helpfully.

"Just paint it white, it's a completely unobjectionable color." The man remarked.

And that is how Edward's bedroom in Old Central was painted white.

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Bonus points to those who can figure out who the man is.


	3. Office Space

**Written with a Floating Pen**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Other Stuff: I couldn't resist. And yes, there is another chapter of Fullflame in the works.

Office Space

Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang just had a Pair Named 'Sniper' transfer under his command. He hadn't had any contact with an actual Pair at this point in his life (though he had met many Sacrifices). He didn't know what this couple looked like, but he knew their names were Riza Hawkeye and Jean Havoc. They were Second Lieutenants and officially as of two days ago, _his_ Second Lieutenants.

On the day of their arrival Roy arrived at the office about 10 minutes late due to a traffic jam. Already in his office were Warrant Officer Haymans Breda and Master Sergeant Kain Fuery, two men under his command. He greeted them with a salute and apologized for his lateness.

"Where are the Second Lieutenants?" Roy inquired after realizing they were nowhere to be found. He got a shrug in response.

"We haven't seen them yet." Haymans explained.

About an half hour went by and Sniper had not shown up. With a small sigh, Roy decided someone had a date wrong and ignored their lack of presence. A moment later Fuery bumped into his desk and knocked over Roy's cup of coffee. Soon a large mess spread over the wooden floor.

"I'll go get the mop." Roy mumbled, having just found an excuse not to do his paperwork (which he was not fond of doing and avoided at all costs). He walked over to the closet and opened it up.

Inside were a woman and a man, shirtless and kissing. Roy blinked, then coughed. Both the people turned and noticed him, then grew horrified.

"Perhaps now is not a good time?" Roy asked. "Should I come back later?"

"Er-" "-Um-" "Sorry, sir." They sputtered. Roy shook his head and shut the door.

**-later-**

Second Lieutenants Riza Hawkeye and Jean Havoc were sitting in front of Roy's desk in his back office, very embarrassed. They were now clothed, which Roy thought was a vast improvement, but their blond hair was still rumpled from their closet activities.

"Explain yourselves." Roy demanded.

"We arrived early sir." Riza explained, her face as red as her eyes.

"And decided to enjoy ourselves a little in the closet, sir, while we waited." Jean wasn't as red as Riza, but was still distraught.

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Anything else?"

"It was a good make out session, sir, I highly recommend trying it sometime." Jean added, earning a gasp from Riza.

"So that's what making out is…." Roy seemed enlightened looks.

Both Riza and Jean exchanged disturbed looks.

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Ah, the wonders of innocent!Roy….


	4. Welcoming Committee

**Written with a Floating Pen**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Other Stuff: I couldn't resist this one either.

Welcoming Committee

Edward Elric had been outside playing on the swing set. Today he had taken his photograph of Roy with him, so that Roy could see Risembol and share some meaningful moments with him, or at least Edward pretended that's what happened. Roy got to 'witness' Edward breaking the highest swing record. He also got to 'see' Edward's tree fort.

Since Edward noticed the sun was setting he picked up Roy and carried him inside. Quickly Edward went into his room and put Roy back on the desk, where he was safe. It was around then Edward heard a moan from one of the other rooms. Curious, the boy ventured out into the hallway. The moaning was coming from his parents' room.

Edward carefully opened the door to see his very naked parents passionately going at it. Edward rolled his eyes, having walked in on his parents doing this kind of thing several times in the past. He shut the door and journeyed over to the bathroom to use it.

He was not expecting to find his little brother and Winry on the floor doing the same thing his parents were. Edward was somewhat mortified by the fact his five year old brother was having sex with a girl only a year older. Quietly, Edward shut the bathroom door and walked into the kitchen. Once down there he grabbed a pan and a spoon.

Quickly he journeyed back upstairs and opened the door to his parents' room. This time instead of rolling his eyes, he just banged the spoon on the pan two times. Both his parents stopped and saw him standing there trapping his foot impatiently.

"Er- Edward are you hungry?" Trisha asked, feeling extremely exposed.

Edward shook his head. He then gestured they should follow him. With a very disappointed look, Hohenheim Elric climbed off his wife and started to look for his discarded clothes on the floor. Edward politely shut the door and waited in the hall.

_Good thing Roy doesn't have to watch this stuff._ Edward snorted mentally. A few minutes later his parents emerged.

"Edward I would prefer it if you just knocked…." Trisha reminded her son. Edward rolled his eyes again and took his parents to the bathroom his brother and best friend were currently occupying. All Edward did was swing open the door to show his parents what was happening.

Hohenheim went from distraught and disappointed to extremely angry in two seconds.

_**"Alphonse Elric!!"**_ He yelled.

**-later-**

Alphonse and Winry were sitting on the living room couch, their parents on the other side of the room looking furious. Edward was leaning against a side wall next to Pinako, Winry's grandmother.

"Do you two realize what you were doing?" Jason, Winry's father asked.

"Sorta?" Alphonse supplied. "Mom and dad do it a lot…."

"Alphonse we do it because we knew what we are doing, and what it means." Trisha told her son.

"What were we doing? Was it bad?" Winry asked, full of innocence.

"It could have been if you were older." Sara, Winry's mother explained. "You could have gotten pregnant."

"Isn't that how babies are made?" Alphonse asked. Hohenheim nodded.

"Oh." And so Edward, Alphonse, and Winry were given the first of many lectures on sex.

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Poor Ed, living in a house with sex-crazed people and no one to screw himself….


	5. Alike

**Written with a Floating Pen**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Other Stuff: And this one had to follow the other two….

Alike

Roy Mustang woke up and yawned. He glanced around the room, being slightly confused as he didn't recognize his surroundings. It then dawned on him he was in the Elric family home in his and Ed's room. In their bed. It gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling to wake in a bed that smelled of his Fighter Unit.

Like anyone else who just woke up, Roy needed to relieve himself. He climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom and opened the door.

Roy went from half-awake to wide awake at the sight of Alphonse and Winry having sex.

"Um…." Roy remarked loudly. "Could you take this somewhere else?"

Both Alphonse and Winry blushed.

**-later-**

"You're just like Ed." Winry accused Roy.

"How exactly?" Roy was a little confused.

"You're always walking in and ruining my time with Al!" She growled.

"Wait you mean Ed's walked in on you two having sex?" Roy was a little shocked.

"Almost every time we do it actually." Al added. "And he walked in on my parents a lot too."

"And he even walked in on mine…." Winry then glared at Roy. "You are a peeper!"

"Eh!?"

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Now Roy has been doomed to come in on people having sex, well according to Winry anyways.


End file.
